Ha Long? Just long enough.

March 8-10
Halong Bay

Photos of Halong Bay can be seen in any book, post card or travel show about Vietnam. It's one of the country's most famous landmarks and therefore its biggest tourist attraction. This fact means it is virtually impossible to get there without purchasing a prepackaged tour. I've been trying to avoid doing that as much as possible, but would have to give in on this one. Unless I wanted to take a local bus to Halong City, get charged tourist prices for it anyway, then negotiate a boat once I got there. I had planned to go for only one night, but the company I booked my tour through only had a 2 night trip available for the day I wanted to go. Seeing as how I get seasick and would be trapped on a boat with strangers for 48 hours, I wasn't too keen on this option. Max, the tour operator recommended by my friends, assured me the water was very calm and that I would have a much more enriching experience if I booked for 2 nights. Maybe that was true, maybe he just wanted to make more money off of me, but I had the time to kill. I'd also saved Halong Bay for last, having heard raves about it. I booked the two nights, hoping it would be the highlight of my time in Vietnam.

Luckily for me I checked the weather forecast and it was not pretty – clouds, rain, chilly. Unlucky for me, I only had a light rain jacket and one sweater for warmth. I packed as light as possible and hoped there were warm blankets on board. 8AM at the Kangaroo Cafe and the crowd was thin: a progressive family from New Mexico who had been traveling with their 3 kids for 18 months, two chain smoking Germans, our tour guide and me. We boarded the bus and ended up picking up 4 more passengers from Australia. One couple was retired and the other seemed to be relatively near my age. So that would be our group. I put my headphones on as we took off for the 3+ hour drive to Halong City in the rain.

I've found it's not possible for bus drivers to go for more than 90 minutes here without stopping to smoke, eat, stretch their legs and probably drink. Like clockwork, about an hour after leaving Hanoi we pulled into some roadside tourist trap (probably owned by the driver's uncle). It's the reason all road trips take an hour longer than they should. This place was pretty big, selling snake wine, pringles, post cards and other crap handicrafts guaranteed to fall apart the second you leave the store. I bought some cashew candies and waited for the bus to leave. It was then that my nightmare began: the 9 year old girl befriended me.

She offered me some of her candy, I politely declined, introduced myself to her father and headed back to the bus. She followed. “Will you be my friend?” “Sure,” (through gritted teeth). “Can I sit with you?” I asked her didn't she think she should sit with her mother for the next TWO hours? Her mother told her that she couldn't sit with me, and obviously to stop bothering me. Did she stop? Not exactly. This smart and spoiled and manipulative 9 year old brat waltzed up to me and said in earshot of everyone, “My mom said to stop bothering you. Am I bothering you?” It was at this moment that I knew I'd have comrades in the German gays, as they stood by watching and chain smoking and laughing at me with pity. I told the kid we'd have 2 days to be friends and that I was in the row of single seats on the bus (which I was) and that she could not sit on my lap.

Babies are fine, but I generally tend to not like kids between the ages of 3 and 20. This family of extremely smart, home schooled kids were very nice. I liked the parents a lot, I just did not like their parenting style or choices. Nobody, especially people on holiday, wants children hanging all over them. These kids, except for the 12 year old boy, were mental and physical nuisances for 2 days. The 5 year old just climbed all over everyone, attaching himself to your leg if you tried to walk away, and the 9 year old demanded attention 24-7. “can I make you a neclkace? Will you hold my hand? Lets play a game. And another game. And another...” It was exhausting and a real drain on all of us. I don't necessarily blame the kids, though they certainly all knew how to get what they wanted. I blame the parents for robbing these kids of any friends their own age to go fill their fantasies of living abroad for 2 years, and subjecting all the strangers they encounter to having their plans disrupted by their needy, attention starved children.

Since the weather was a constant 50 degrees and rainy or cloudy, afternoons that are normally reserved for swimming, kayaking, sunbathing, etc. were impossible. The rooms had no TV's, which meant that a bunch of strangers sat in the main galley and entertained the children, until one by one we sneaked off to our rooms. Nobody was a big drinker, so I felt like a derelict if I had more than 1 glass of wine at a meal. There was not too much to do except take in the excellent scenery in between rounds of “Hangman” and “I Spy.”

Foggy or not, Halong Bay is stunning. It's a giant green blue bay (1500 sq km or so) of thousands of limestone islands jutting out of the sea, stretching all the way to China. The water is calmer than some lakes I've seen, making sleeping (and napping, of which I did a lot) easy. For two days I read, slept and took photos in between meals (which were horrible), dodging the children, and excursions to the bigger islands (Monkey Island, where there were no monkeys, and Cat Ba island, which is inhabited but was creepily empty) and some caves.

The last morning it had warmed up to maybe 55 degrees, and was dry enough to sit on deck. So that's what I did on the 2 hour long cruise back to the mainland. Kids aside, it was a great way to end my time in Vietnam.