Let's Go to the Waterpark

February 26th, 2010
Nha Trang, Vietnam

A couple of years ago, cable cars were put in connecting Nha Trang with Hon Tre island, the largest in the bay. I was told it was worth checking it out, if for nothing more than the views. I had not yet decided whether the cable cars were unsightly from the beach, cutting a clear view out to sea in half, or whether they added a cute seaside vibe. We had ridden a cable car in Hong Kong by accident on a day when the weather was not so great. For nearly the whole ride, we shivered inside as the car rose and fell over the steep hills, our only view, the thick clouds we were traveling through. Wind blew the car around several times and there were voices on it (I kid you not). I was not not too keen to repeat the process, but was a little bored, and had been told a story of a baby taking a crap on the beach I'd been going to for the past few days. I decided a change of scenery (and hygiene) would do me good.

I knew there was a fairly swanky resort on Hon Tre, you could see it from the beach in Nha Trang. Into the mountain, its name, VinPearl, is displayed in big white block letters, mimicking the Hollywood sign in LA. Hon Tre is a large island, so I figured there had to be more there. I was hoping for a secluded (and clean) beach, maybe a hiking trail and scenic vista from the top of the hill.

For all its tourism, Nha Trang seems to have a shortage of English speaking people working at top spots for visitors. Such was the case when my taxi driver asked me if I needed a ticket to the cable cars. I certainly wasn't going to try and bum rush the guards without paying, only to be stuck in the air for 10 minutes while they waited to capture me on the other side. I am not an acrobat or a daredevil, so ziplining across the cables was not an option either. Of course I needed a ticket. However, he did not take me to the ticket booth. I could see that we were a good 10 blocks away from it as we slowed down to stop in front of a travel agent, where a young girl (this time, I'm going to wager she was his niece) ran up to the window waving a pamphlet and plastic credit card type thing at me, demanding 300,000 dong (about 17 bucks). I asked her what I got with the card, since she refused to hand over the pamphlet explaining it until I forked over the cash. She spoke no English. Only the amount of $ she wanted. I looked to my driver to translate. Would this be for a return trip ticket, and did I get into the resort for that? Could I use the pool and the beach? What else was I getting for my money? Yes, yes, yes he answered. “All incluse.” Ok, then. It was either pay her the money, or pay him more money as we sat and argued in non-English and watched his meter run. I bought the card.

Once inside the terminal, I finally understood what I had purchased. It was indeed a return trip on the cable cars to Hon Tre island, though a relaxing day at the VinPearl Resort it was not. Instead, I would be heading to VinPearl Land, the island's very own amusement park! It all started to make sense now. There were little kids everywhere, and families dressed in freakish outfits all including cowboy hats (people wear weird shit to waterparks, especially in Vietnam, where the women don't wear bathing suits. I saw some on the beach swimming in actual suits, but that's another story.). They wanted another 50 bucks to go to the spa/resort as a non-guest. I've seen some nice places in Vietnam, but let's face it: the Ritz, this wasn't. I was keeping that 50 and heading to VinPearl Land.

VinPearl Land is a water park, amusement park, has an aquarium and an amphitheater where they presumably put on shows to the masses. Problem was, there were no masses which meant no show. When I got off the cable car (which I rode with a VinPearl worker who again, spoke zero English but sported a “Welcome To VinPearl Land” name tag along with a do rag tied around her neck) I was amazed by how empty the park was. It was very quiet, kind of like Great Adventure on a Tuesday in April, when it's still 50 degrees out. I expected most of the rides to be shut, on account of poor attendance, but I was wrong. If one person wants to ride the Buckaneer in VinPearl Land, they let her rip.

The aquarium seemed like a good place to start, if for no other reason than a break from the heat. By US standards, it was a little weak, especially considering some of the sea creatures that actually live around the area naturally. There were sea horses, incubating nurse sharks, sting rays, small sharks, eels, giant grouper. There was even a cool walk through fiber glass tube, ala Sea World, complete with the moving sidewalk, but about 1/5th the size. The designer went a little nuts with the optical effects of curved fiberglass and I felt like I was wearing my bad sunglasses, getting dizzy looking at the fish. It was dark and cool inside, though, and I lingered for as long as possible before heading out into the park.

Luckily, the beach was clean, manicured and empty. The sand was finer than across the bay, it was devoid of litter and the waters were much calmer. It was also semi-shielded from the waterslides and screaming children, so I spent most of the day there reading, swimming and trying to forget where I was. It was pretty easy, though every now and then a Vietnamese man donning a cowboy hat and neckerchief with his swim trunks would run by screaming something I couldn't understand and splash into the sea with a giant cannonball, followed by his entire family.

Waterslides did not interest me, but before I left, I grabbed a raft and dove into the wave pool, just for kicks.